When they turn yellowish-brown and start to leave the tree, they gently touch my shoulder. Walking along a lifeless street during an autumn evening, I look up and have a glance. I sigh, for time elapses so fast. From the scorching sun and the warmth of the sea water to a season where I could no longer resist the loneliness. I sit at the parlour every night, counting to the nights when full moon occurs once again. Every night I spend more than an hour, sitting on the parlour and letting our memories replay again in my mind. The autumn night is cold, not the fact that I fear the chilly wind but somehow I feel so empty within.
I have no word that could say how much I miss you, to what extend I love you.
The very first time I look at you, it is such a strange feeling which I cannot resist. For the past few years, I was like someone lost in the labyrinth, having completely no picture of what love is. As time progresses, we spend minutes and seconds together until I am sure that I have found someone I dream. The minutes and seconds have ignited the chemistry and somehow I just simply could not resist it. Dream is like something so abstract and imaginative. I clench onto the dream that it may come true one day. The dream suddenly appalls and crashes, trashing and leaving me alone in a dark corner for years.
I find beams of light after a while. Perhaps the voltage is not strong enough to penetrate through my life or it could just be me who is still fantasising in our memories. Perhaps I have never forgotten you, the first look when I first see you and the flame is still igniting. I thought it had gone off four years ago but right now, I know I am wrong.
This autumn I wish you were beside me
for I fear to stroll along in the loneliness
Even a small piece of leave that touches me
Could have shattered my tranquility of soul
It makes the heart sinks
to somewhere I could not pick it up
I know the timing is wrong or
Perhaps fate does not allow us to be one
No matter how far I travel or where I am
I still love you.
I seal my thoughts when I finally reach home. Once again I find myself on the parlour with a pot of hot tea. It is full moon again tonight and even the lullaby could not send me off to sleep. Again, I wish you were next to me right now, my arms across your shoulder and you shall lay in my chest for the whole night. I wish to feel your breathe and even see you sleeping comfortably in my hugs. I want you to be with me forever.
And so I am on the parlour again, wondering the thoughts and they are drifting me away and till it is twilight again.